Many years ago, I was going through the pain of a breakup. I was at my girlfriends parent’s place on Long Island. They had easy access to the beach, although it was the wrong time of year for dipping in the salt water. I knew we were over, and I wish I hadn’t come.
I slipped away from the group, to sit and think with the sand as a cushion and the ocean wind on my face. As I sat, I began to realize something. The knots in my stomach, the tightness in my chest, the misery that was our relationship seemed to be fading. Fading, like a sandcastle before the wind. Blowing away, loosening its hold. If one had eyes of the soul, perhaps I would appear like the aurora borealis, the solar wind blowing above the night sky, leaving tendrils for all to see.
Eventually, they came looking for me. I knew then that the elevation of spirit I had experienced was only temporary, like ionized nitrogen atoms losing an electron. Passing as it was, it was one of the most welcome feelings I’ve ever had.
Years later, on the other side of our grand, expansive country I had an opportunity to go fishing on the ocean. It started out great, but soon the large swells made me nauseous like I hadn’t been in a long, long time. I cursed the fact that we had signed up for a full day. This was my first (and last) experience to be out of sight of land. The swells were huge; the ocean is a big, big place. She didn’t like me riding her, and I certainly did not like her constant motion and her unstable moods.
Perhaps there is a lesson in this two disparate experiences, but it escapes me at the moment.
